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Post by Ladorak on Jan 4, 2011 23:17:15 GMT -5
Saumarez reached into his pocket, trying to ensure he had matches in case she wanted to puff some cigars on the way. He felt like he did have some matches, but as he was withdrawing his paw, a few coins tumbled out and onto the dirt of the ground.
They made no noise as they landed, the dirt being soft and not very firm due to the constant moisture from the nearby sea. Without thinking, he turned around to retrieve them, as they had fallen behind him. Glancing up, Saumarez nearly died of a heart attack. Oh sh...ucks! Priscilla! She was still changing! And...and...
His eyes lingered on that brown fur, almost chocolate in color, that adorned her rump, which was bare, and currently wagging a bit from side to side. It seemed strange...almost as if it were exaggerated in the movement. It was just a bit too...showy...too sexy for a simple struggle with the skirt. Was she...TRYING to show off?
He gulped without sound, watching as the skirt was slid up and her tail fitted into place. He furiously turned about, blushing ferociously from ear tip to jaw. James! Just what was that? You peeping weasel! So unbecoming of a gentlemammal! How...how dare you? But...well...that wasn't a bad view...and besides...I'm marrying her soon...I'll be seeing it anyway. I should have a right...right?
He spun around upon hearing her voice, looking tense but not necessarily chagrined. He gave her a small smile, nodding tersely. "Sure. I don't see why not." in response to if Pip could come along or not. He tossed a treat down to the duck, shrugging as he did so. It was between his legs now, looking up at him. He had memories of their last walk...but he hadn't gotten angry. A bit disgusted maybe...but it hadn't lasted long.
He held the tent flap open for her, waited for her to tie the duck to the leash, and then they were off into the surrounding countryside...or at least as much of the peninsula as they could wander around.
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The wind blew in from the northeast, bringing the gray clouds closer. It was going to rain alright...it was just a question of when. The thunder was still far off, and would probably reach them in a few hours. It did appear that Mount Pharon was already being drenched.
"Soooo...not a bad day. Cool in it's own right. It'll be miserable in a bit sure...but we've got some time. Um...yeah..." he walked nonchalantly over to a rock, his paws swinging and loose by his sides. "I guess I'm just a little nervous about this quandary I'm in." he said, stepping one boot onto the rock to lean on it. "Priscilla would you like some lunch or anything? I brought some sandwiches." he motioned to the small sack at his side.
He turned to sit down on the rock, its face projecting out towards her and forming a sort of sharp face on this side, whereas on the other it gradually sloped downward to the earth. He opened the sack at his side, unfolding it on the rock now like a picnic blanket, except it wasn't anywhere near as big. He took one of the sandwiches and held it, resting that paw on his knee for the moment. "I have something on my mind...something I hope maybe you could help with. It concerns some...matters back home. As said..." here he smiled, looking down at the sandwich. It was rabbit, one of his favorites. "It's not anything too heavy or serious. It's just...on my mind a lot." He bit in, beginning to chew as he waited for her response.
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Post by spender on Jan 8, 2011 6:51:35 GMT -5
Steep sat, leaning against the rock. She tugged Pip's leash until the duck was right beside her, and forcefully made him settle down. It was dangerous to have him waddling around while she was occupied... he could get in another mud puddle.
Her cigar wasn't quite through, but she tugged it out of her teeth and jabbed it into the dirt anyway. Smoke never did go well with sandwiches, even... ooh, rabbit. She held the sandwich and flipped through the ingredients as if checking a book to see if the chapter headings had art. There was a slice of lettuce in it. She gingerly snipped it between two claws and dragged it out, trailing a bit of spread. Pip snapped at it. She let him have it, and bit in as well.
For a moment, the two weasels just chewed. After two or three bites, Steep put her sandwich down in the grass—on the opposite side of Pip, as he was done his lettuce and looking expectantly for more.
"If you want to go home, that's fine," she said. "It was... nice of you to come, James. I enjoyed it. But if you have to go back to your ship, or if you just miss home, that's fine. You don't have to stay. I'll be fine."
Steep stared at the sky, just letting the moment seep into her.
It was fine. Everything about his visit was fine. But on the other paw... she couldn't wait for him to go back. All it would take was one letter, and then... He could come visit, perhaps. But not while Saumarez was still hanging about. No... She'd need time to prepare a meeting place, somewhere no one from her regiment would know.
She needed to know when Saumarez would be leaving. She would have to suggest it, first, and then wait for a reply detailing his opportunities, and then once that was confirmed, send another letter with further plans—after setting them up, of course—and then...! Just a matter of time. One last time. That's all she needed, was the one. From there, she could decide if it was feasible to have more meetings, or if they had to break it off, what with her marriage...
All that was for the future Steep to deal with. Here and now, she had her fiance, a sick duck, and a rabbit sandwich, and that was more than enough to keep her mind occupied.
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Post by Ladorak on Jan 8, 2011 15:46:45 GMT -5
"Actually Priscilla." here his face fell a bit. "I don't need to go back until next year. Which granted, is only a few weeks from now...but I only hope you enjoyed my company. I enjoyed visiting. And well...I hardly miss home. I have no one to share it with." he admitted, shrugging. "My dad is dead, my siblings have all moved out, my mom lives close by but I'm used to be being gone long periods. So really...it was no imposition for me."
He paused to take a few more bites and waited to swallow. "Truth be told...I wanted to talk to you about something. I uh..." he swallowed another bite, looking around him, and then down at Pip, as if to say help me out here. You know her better than I do.
"I was in a relationship before I met you." he finally blurted. "I'm pretty sure I alluded to it back on the Conception that night. Now...before you say anything...just listen." he held up a paw to stop her in case she was going to interject.
"I had kept it secret from my family...this jill was...a little below my social status let's just say. She was the only jill I'd ever taken an interest in before, and...aside from Admiral Howe's daughter, who seems to think that fishers and weasels are a compatible match, it's really the only time I've courted anyone before. I'm telling you this...something I haven't even told my own family yet." he fiddled with his claws, picking at them and running them over each other.
"I realize though...after being with you...that I have to let her go. I have to stamp out my love for her because I want to love you." he lifted his eyes to look at her. That ruby red of her scab, that sickle like brown that jutted under her jaw, that low set brow and her folded down ears. "If I'm going to be with you for the first of my life...I need to do this. Because otherwise...I'd have too much outside interference. I couldn't look at you without seeing her. And I don't want to live that way. I want to see you and only you from now on Priscilla." he gouged a hole in his sandwich with his claw, cutting a thin line down the bread.
"I want your help in doing this. I'd like your support in helping me to leave this other jill behind. You don't have to do anything directly...just be you. You really impressed me that night on the mountain. I think that's when I first started saying to myself...I like her. She's more deeply sympathetic than even I suspected, and she's determined to face what lies ahead. You don't look back Priscilla...you face whatever faces you and you don't flinch. I really admire that about you...and I think that's the first time I said to myself...'I might be falling for her'."
"And as I got to know you better." he continued. "It wasn't just 'I might'...it turned into...'I am'. Now granted...it will be difficult at first...but as I look back...I realize what chance did I have with this other jill? My family would never approve, and...it would be so socially awkward. I want to love you because I want to love you Priscilla, not because I have to or that I've been ordered to. It has nothing to do with that. I felt like telling you this because it's important you know. It's important you know that from this point on...I will be working hard to forget things...in my past. I'll be looking at you...seeing you. Caring about you. I want to love you out of a conscious choice and decision I made...it's not because I was asked to. My King's orders make no difference to me. I want this marriage to work. I want to be happy with you. I can't do that if I'm constantly thinking about my old flame. So I just...hope you'll be understanding and that you can rest assured I'm doing this all for you."
He looked down at his sandwich again, then back up at her. "That's...what I wanted to tell you. I hope you're OK with it...I will not...under any circumstances transgress against you. My promises to you are serious...and I give you my word on that." he closed his eyes and nodded, then waited...waited for her.
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Post by spender on Jan 13, 2011 9:20:25 GMT -5
"Let me think."
Steep was silent for a while. Her sandwich, half eaten, lay in the grass beside her. Pip had settled down, head on her lap, uninterested in more food. Her paws trembled as she drew a cigar from her case and lit it up.
Trembled, she wondered, because of nerves, because his dilemma shook her to the core? Or just regularly trembling, as they so often did when she was trying to concentrate on little intricate movements?
She took a puff. A long one. She was choosing her words—at least, she thought she was. She might have simply been sorting through his. He had dropped a lot on her. She needed time. Time, she was thankful, he was giving her.
The silence stretched on for a minute or two more. She wasn't getting up to leave, and that seemed to calm him. She hoped her lack of immediate reply wasn't giving him stress.
What Steep was really doing was building a wall in her heart. Her tail had fuzzed out while he spoke, because she'd been linking their two problems together. It was as if... he was saying all this, making it up, as a parable to get her to come clean. But she wouldn't rise to the bait. She wasn't him, and he wasn't her. She could handle, for now, the duality of their relationships. She's grown stronger since he'd arrived, since that first battle. Her willpower was better. And with that strength, she cordoned off her feelings for Pylaris. She had to tackle this problem as Saumarez's, not her own.
She breathed out, watching the smoke wreathe around her whiskers.
"Does she love you?" she said. "That's important. You can't just drop a jill like that. You've got to let her down slowly. Give her... give her something else to love, instead." She patted Pip's neck, digging her claws past the plumage to scritch at his skin. "If she's waiting for you... You oughtn't to make her wait any more. Visit her. Give her one more moment before you say goodbye.
"And... if you love her still, that's okay. You two don't have to distance yourselves because of this. Staying friends... keeping in contact... It sounds like it would hurt, doesn't it? That every meeting and every letter is a reminder of what you've put aside. But it's not. If you still love each-other, then every letter is..." what keeps you going, what makes you stay, when everything else tells you to leave this life...
Her voice was deceptively calm. She stayed leaning against the rock, as if watching the clouds and commenting on their silly shapes. It was still a picnic.
"And if you don't love her anymore, that's no reason to put her through something so harsh. Don't lead her on, but don't be blunt. The marriage is a good excuse. Our kings have ordered it. Give her a trembling lip, smash a table with your paw, you know—make it look like you don't want to give her up. But you're a gentlemammal. A knight, true to his word, king and country. It's out of your powers..."
She let off there. She needed more time to think. Because...
She liked him, but she didn't love him yet. She wanted to want to love him, as he had put it. She would like nothing more than for him to go back to his other jill, and leave her; one less thing to worry about. The companionship was fine, but she was starting to get that from her troops as well. She would be okay.
One of them had to be happy.
To that end, Steep wondered what their vows would be. Many married beasts, she knew, kept on mistresses. Would Saumarez be one such jack? Would it be against the laws of their marriage? And, more importantly, would it be against the laws of God? Could she stand idly by while her husband loved another jill, perhaps more intimately than he loved her? Did it count as adultery if all parties had consented to the arrangement? Did it even matter? She was, after all, planning her own dire sins behind Saumarez's back, and quite resigned to the consequences. All it would take was a visit to a priest, have her slate wiped anew, give her another chance at heaven... She hadn't been to a church in so long. Was that how it still worked?
Even then, this life was hell enough that the real thing didn't scare her into forfeiting a possible emotional release in one last meeting with Pylaris. Her pain, she knew, would never let up. So be it; give her an eternity of it, and a sliver of heaven now. Her patience was wearing thin.
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Post by Ladorak on Jan 14, 2011 12:58:37 GMT -5
He inhaled audibly, listening to her words. "Yes...she does love me." he stated simply, letting her continue on. "I don't think I can visit her right now...she's used to me being gone...well sort of." Only in the last year. He'd been with her the past few years now...in secret of course, but with her all the same.
The next bit about the letters made him uncomfortable. Still keep in contact? No...he had to sever all ties. He was convinced of that...if he wrote to her...he might be drawn back to her...and if he was drawn back to her...he might transgress against his wife...and there was no way he could risk that. "I don't think...I can stay in contact with her. It would make me feel like I was...cheating on you...even if physically we weren't doing anything together, her and I. No...I don't think I could bring myself to write. I just couldn't...if I'm to be with you." he shook his head once, and looked down at her as she went on.
He found it slightly strange that she didn't elaborate on what letters meant, but she brought up the point of him not loving Dorothea. He sighed. "I...don't know. I mean it's so hard to say. What is love? Fiery passion when you fold yourself physically onto another? The desire to spend the rest of your life with another beast? I...I'm afraid that all I had with her was that first one...the desire and the passion...even I hadn't figured out how we'd manage to be together permanently. I mean she was so far below my station...and even more so now that I'm a Knight. I don't think my parents...or my mother rather, as my father's dead, would have approved. My numerous siblings...they'd all think I'd lost my mind." he said, giving off a quick chortle.
"No...ultimately I can't say that I had definite plans for us. It was a secret romance...it didn't go beyond that. It didn't have the prospect of going beyond that. I need to marry within my station...I need to marry someone like you...and I realize that now. Not just because it's necessary...but because I think we could have a good life together. I see us having a fulfilling life together in fact. We wouldn't need to sneak around or hide our romance. I wouldn't have to meet you in some barn down some country lane for a get together. I could take you on my ship, you could take me to your house, I could take you to my house. Our parents can meet each other, and I wouldn't have to choose between my secret romance or marrying my cousin...ugh." he stuck his tongue out.
"Can you believe it? It's not uncommon to wed cousins after all...but it felt a little...too strange when my mother suggested it to me. And there's Admiral Howe's daughter, true, but she's a fisher and I'm a... a weasel... so that's strange to me as well." he gave another chuckle, a smile playing about his features. He didn't say it out loud, but he'd rather marry someone he could produce offspring with, and not bear a kitless marriage.
He slid himself off the rock, grinding his back along the rough surface as he plopped down next to her in a sitting position, finishing the last of his sandwich. "I have to let her go Priscilla...for both of our sakes...I have to let her go." He said, not looking at her but more up at the hill where there fort was. "Thank you for your advice though...it will...be difficult I'm sure...telling her...but yes...I could probably adopt your last suggestion...making it seem as if my paws are tied, and well...hopefully trust myself not to screw it up by either becoming too emotional or too distant...I'm not sure how I'll react in all honesty. Will I betray myself and feel devastated...or will I realize that I ultimately love you and not her, and shut myself off from her too much in our meeting? I don't know..." he shook his head again, and reached a paw out for her paw, not moving too fast, and perhaps moving too slow, but eventually he clasped her paw in his own.
"I hope you can give me the strength I need to do this though...even if it's a small inspiration...it would really mean a lot to me. I'll take whatever I can get. Thank you for being so understanding." He moved his snout close to her cheek, but stopped short, his nose and mouth hovering perhaps three inches away. "Um...I don't know if you're aware of this." his voice was much softer and lower in pitch now. "But sometimes you inspire me to try things I wouldn't initially give myself credit for. Feeling my heart beat just a bit faster whenever I see you certainly helps...so thank you. Thank you for that." he quickly leaned in for a kiss, planting it swiftly but firmly right on that brown "sickle" of fur that ran under her jaw, and pulled back, letting her paw go as well.
He would have tried to be a bit more bold than that, but he respected her space, and would let her call the shots on just how "close" they drew to each other. It would be at the pace she set, though he would still let her know he admired her by performing little acts like that. He had done it right before they had gone to sleep before that battle atop Mt. Faron had awoken both of them. He had pulled her in close and kissed her in a similar fashion more on a whim than anything, and had turned in shortly after that.
He sat with his back to the rock, head turned to look at her and the duck in her lap.
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Post by spender on Jan 21, 2011 1:41:38 GMT -5
Steep finished her sandwich, staring off at the scenery, seemingly oblivious to the moment of intimacy that had transpired.
Pip hadn't, however, and was giving Saumarez a mournful look, as if to say, "Hey, pal, I can't do anything from my position, but would you kindly lay off my jill before I have to come over there and give you a bruising?"
"You're welcome," she said quietly, when the last crust was swallowed. She put her cigar back in its spot between her teeth. Her paw moved to her scab, then paused... and withdrew. She breathed in, hissing perhaps a little more than was necessary to get a good draw of smoke.
It was as if the furtive sickle-kiss had never happened, or the talk. Her eyes roved over the grass, the pathway, the hill, the fort, the sky, simply taking it all in. Her head might as well have been filled with featherdown for all the emotion and conversation she was returning.
Her head was killing her. It was worse now, at this very moment, than it had been at any time in the past three weeks. It had just started like that, out of nowhere, pulsing and pounding and scraping at her skull out of the blue. What was it about these solemn discussions that did this? Was it some kind of reaction to stress, to the beating of her heart? But no--otherwise, skirmishes wouldn't feel like a relief from it. She didn't know, didn't understand. It was all she could do to keep still and keep calm in front of Saumarez, not to turn around and fling herself into the rock, or off the cliff... There was no way she could think about their romantic issues at the moment. This jill of Saumarez's, and Pylaris, too, would have to wait.
A tear or two gathered at the corner of her eye, and began to roll down her cheek. It was small, but tickled, and it felt to her as if it might be a big one--as one feels a trickle of blood running from the nose to the lip to be much larger than it actually appears in the mirror.
To compliment, or perhaps throw off, the tear, Steep twisted the corners of her mouth up in a smile. She turned to Saumarez, patting his paw.
"Well, I'm... ah!... glad that's sorted, then." Expertly, the weasel jill twisted her gasp of pain into a quick puff on her cigar. She dared not say more, lest the effort of speech breech her facade again.
"Quack." Pip's neck curled around, bill pointed accusingly up at her, as if he knew what was up.
Forget it, she decided. Fire burns the paw that stays the flame--she reached up to her head and clawed at it, choking.
"I feel sick," she groaned, sliding against the rock until she leaned on Saumarez. It was not an intentional act; her body wanted, needed to convulse, to twist and unwind and curl up again; her left leg kicked at the grass, claws scuffing dirt. She moaned, burying her face in his shirt and chest to muffle the noise as it rose into a whisker-curdling scream.
Her cigar, tumbled away and forgotten, began to singe the dried winter grass between them.
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Post by Ladorak on Jan 23, 2011 12:39:35 GMT -5
Saumarez took note that she barely acknowledged their conversation. He knew from experience that she was a difficult nut to crack. Half the time she would not let him in, and keep her heart locked away. Her innermost thoughts were almost always a mystery to him, and he struggled day in and day out to comprehend her. If only she could be more open with him, and let him know what was truly going on within...it was clear she needed help after all, despite her insistence otherwise.
No jill who twisted and locked her heart up so could be feeling good about things. She always seemed on edge, on the verge of blowing apart and snapping off like a spring that had been wound too tightly about itself. But what could he do to assist her? What could he give to her in order to ease her inner tempests?
She suddenly mentioned that she felt sick, and slid down the back of the rock to lean against him. "Oh..." he stated, caught off guard as his arms shot up to avoid becoming trapped against him by her body. She burrowed her snout into his chest fur and shirt after vigorously scratching at her scab. Her hind claws begin to plow the dirt under them, creating small furrows in the earth and then, as she clutched roughly at his shirt, the scream erupted.
It was muffled, due to her yelping right into him, but he could still hear it. It froze his blood and pierced his soul in such a manner that it felt like an icepick had crashed down into his very breast. More on instinct than anything else, his arms were soon about her, and holding her tightly against him, as if cradling a daughter of his, or more accurately, his wife.
He squeezed her, wanting to reassure her it would be OK. He wasn't sure how best to approach this, as he'd never remotely encountered something like this before. "Priscilla...shhhh...it's OK...it's going to be alright." he whispered, his voice rising a fraction as he spoke into her ear. He felt like words were useless though, as she never seemed to place much stock in them.
Instead, he closed his eyes, noting her tear streaked features before he did so, and planted his snout and lips firmly on her forehead. He kissed her headfur, pressing himself against her as best he could to try and show her that he was there. For some reason, he felt tears flooding his eyes as well, traveling down his cheeks, though his face remained steadfast and resolute.
He held his kiss for an indeterminate amount of time. Maybe seconds, possibly minutes. It was likely somewhere in between. When he did break off, he rubbed his cheekfur against her headfur, back and forth in a spirited yet comforting manner. He wanted desperately to take away her pain...for it was clutching at him, her suffering becoming part of him due to his empathy. "I'm sorry...I'm sorry..." he whispered again and again, his fur rubbing on hers and his tears mixing somewhere down below with her own.
"Just cry...go ahead...scream...wail...it's OK...nobody can hear you...nobody but me...I'm right here..." his voice, despite his tears. remained fairly steady, and only cracked once or twice. "Just share your pain...share it because I..." he gulped, and she would probably feel his throat pulsate somewhere on the brows of her eyes. "Because I love you." he finally said, spoken on a complete whim and with almost no conscious control over his actions. He held her there, rubbing his cheek over her crown, knocking her beret off in the process, but paying no heed to it.
He only just now realized what he had uttered, and his heart started to quicken in his ribs, and he silenced his words then, waiting...letting time pass...seeing what would result from that little outpouring.
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Post by spender on Jan 27, 2011 1:47:39 GMT -5
Steep cried. She only stopped to breathe, pulling her head away from Saumarez's chest to fill her nostrils with hot, musky air, before burying herself in him again and letting it all out in volume. Her claws wrapped themselves in his clothes, tearing little holes in due time. It was not long before her throat became sore, and her screams died for lack of voice. Still, she sobbed, soaking them both with her tears and drool. Her skirt, too, was dampened, the pain coursing all through her body this time, every muscle losing control.
Pip huddled nearby, quite miserable himself from his cold, and watched in horror as his mistress contorted and spasmed against the ground.
When it seemed the worst of it was over, Steep found something pressing against her lips. She drank, gulping frantically--Saumarez was holding her flask up for her. The Odde Tinge, kept all these months, flowed down her throat and burned the pain away, like a candle against the night. It would be a long time before the sun rose, but for now, this little reprieve...
She wrapped her arms around his waist and held tight, her head resting in his lap. It wasn't that she didn't want to let go. She couldn't let go.
Her legs were still twitching by the time Saumarez's chin fell against his chest. Steep wasn't asleep, but upon hearing his breathing soften and slow, his sedate heart beating against her head, she felt... besides and despite the thousand shards of ice lancing through her brain... tired. She snuggled closer, rubbing her cheek against his stomach warmth.
As the hours passed, Pip got into the sandwiches and made a mess.
It was evening when a longer fit shook her awake. Her head still pounded, her muscles still sore from it all, but now it was as if she had grown used to it. She could control herself again--with effort. Her clothes were dry, although parts of her still felt uncomfortably damp. At some point, Saumarez must have woken up, for her beret was folded beneath her head as a pillow. He must have gone back to sleep since then.
Steep moved to sit up, but found it too comfortable. She merely looked around until she spotted Pip roosting among his picnic wreckage. She relaxed, falling back into Saumarez's lap. The action woke him as well. He blinked sleepily, looking around at the sky, the sandwich disaster, but mostly Steep.
For a few long, warm minutes, the two weasels gazed at each-other.
Then Steep moved her arm from around his waist, hooked it around the back of his neck, pulling him forward and closer to her. As she did this, she lifted her own head a little more, meeting him halfway.
It was the first kiss she'd had in ten years, not including Pip's downy belly.
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Post by Ladorak on Jan 27, 2011 11:51:10 GMT -5
He never flinched, seeing it as his duty by now to stick by her through this episode...and any future ones. Would they all be like this? Was this some twisted form of psychosis she suffered from? A hidden neurosis that plagued her mind and caused her to scream out like this...but no.
He had heard from her doctors, and her own father that she experienced pain...a pain in the head that throbbed and stabbed and...
He stopped thinking about it, or tried to, as it was giving him pain in his own skull, if only metaphorical. He clutched her tightly, not daring to let go as the interminable entity known as time marched forward. He couldn't keep track of how long he let her sink down into his lap and just stay there. The distant, rumbling thunder was a backdrop to the scene, and everything about her had become uncontrollable, and violent in a way.
She was leaking tears like a fire hose on board a ship, and even her skirt was growing damp as she seemingly lost control of her very being. Oh Steep...what terrors are wracking you so? I'm so sorry for this...if only I could transfer this pain unto my own flesh...if only there was some way you didn't have to suffer the full brunt of this alone...
He kept patting her back, holding her close to him until he finally passed into sleep, unable to remain awake any longer.
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He couldn't recall what his dreams consisted of. He was vaguely aware of waking up, finding her dozing in his lap, and crafting a pillow for her from her beret before losing his senses again and slipping back into sleep.
The next thing he was aware of was feeling her landing her head in his lap. She must be awake, and he blinked, snorting a bit and lifting his head from where he'd been leaning it against the boulder. He gazed groggily about...noting that the sun was no longer shining, and dusk was throwing her cloak over everything in sight. It was now the evening of December 17th, 1793, a date that would set the career of one young artillery captain in motion tonight, and test the limit of these two.
His eyes rested on her, and she was looking right at him...into him. It was like she was looking at him for the first time since they had met. It was as if she now understood his devotion, or at least that he was a jack of his words. It was a mutual comfort that both weasels seemed to derive from this gaze, and he felt his heart quicken to a jog as she pushed her paw around his neck to bring him down to her. She met him halfway.
His eyes closed, their snouts met, and they kissed. She had initiated it.
He let out a noise that sounded like a quick moan, and then they shared that one intimate moment. His tongue ran over her fangs, "painting" her canines, her incisors, and her molars. They launched the briefest of explorations of each other's mouths before they both pulled back to breathe. It was a slow process, the parting being bittersweet. He hung on as long as his lungs could manage it, sliding off her snout in a passionate, loving manner, something he was altogether unaccustomed to and yet familiar with at the same time...just not to this level, or this extent.
Inhaling deeply, his lungs were pleased at the release they were granted. He gazed down at her, cradling her in his lap, feeling a few drops of rain splatter the back of his neck. Those roiling clouds that had been so far off in the distance were now over the two of them, and beginning to remind the two of their presence. He felt his stomach growling in a low rumble, and he smiled a bit.
"Why don't we head back to Mulgrave...you can freshen up with a nice, warm bath, and we can eat together?" his heart beat at a steady yet excited pace. He ran his pawpads and claws gently over her cheek fur. "I'm not going anywhere tonight. Even if Admiral Hood calls me away...I'm going to ignore it. I'll tell him I'm sick...indisposed...bitten by the bug. I don't care. I'm going to be right beside you this evening...because I want to be...not because I have to be." He told her this softly, affectionately, almost like a young stripling revealing to his classmate in a giddy fashion that he was going to skip school today.
In a firm grip that was still nonetheless gentle, he pushed her up and off of his lap, pawing her beret over to her in one swift motion. In an attentive manner he placed it back on her head, flattening it out so that it looked proper and in the style she preferred. Once more his paw was on her cheek, caressing it, scratching it in a fond manner.
"What do you feel like eating?" he asked, pushing himself up off his stiff knees and rising to standing. He offered her his paw, the rain beginning to fall at a more steady pace now. "I'll get the cooks working on it while you bathe, and even if I have to, I'll pay for it out of my own pocket if it's something a bit more exotic. Anything you want tonight...it'll be my treat." he suggested, unable to help throwing her a very warm smile that defied the sun to match it in terms of warmth and brilliance. For the first time since entering into this unsteady and uncertain relationship, he felt at ease with himself and with her, and he wanted to show her that. He would blow off one night of work for her, because he wanted to stand by her instead of performing his duty. He was technically on leave anyway...they couldn't press him into service unless they really needed him.
Tonight was about her. They had survived their first serious episode like this...and however many more lay in their future, he was steeling himself for it. Far from finding himself repulsed by her uncontrolled nature when she went through one of these, he found more a deep seated sympathy that had passion as a fire underneath it, though it hadn't yet boiled over. He was still taking stock of her and how he really felt...he needed time of course to figure out if he really meant what he had said back there, and not just have been caught up in the moment. He wanted to make sure he meant it the next time those words left his mouth. But they had time...yes...they both had time...work or no work. He determined to face this and work it through with her. They had time...
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Post by spender on Jan 30, 2011 20:29:44 GMT -5
Food... it was hard to think about. She was hungry, yes, but naming something she liked, let alone wanted, was difficult enough. Food back at home had always been so grandiose, while food on the field was... not. One tasted better, but she preferred the other for its memories. Food that reminded her of home, while delicious and filling, left her feeling as empty as the manor after hours. While a decent roasted grasshopper, on the other paw, left her with a weird taste in her gut and all the echoes of the best days of her life.
On top of that, she wasn't sure if she wanted to clean his taste out just yet. She kind of liked it...
And it just wouldn't do to have conflicting memories be associated with the same meals.
"I'm a soldier, James," she said, slipping back to Ferlusanian until her head felt better. "I eat what I'm told to eat. I have no imagination. It's kind of you... but why don't you surprise me? Unless you want rabbit sandwiches again..."
Steep gave Pip's leash a tug, as the duck had stopped to try and splash in a puddle along the pathway.
"Don't you get dirty again..." she warned. He quacked sadly; the poor fellow was cold and miserable. Steep hadn't known she and Saumarez were going to have a gigantic nap in the middle of the day, or else she would have left him behind to stay warm in her tent.
The journey back was much slower. Steep stumbled often, her legs still weakened and hurting from her muscle spasms. She held onto Saumarez carefully, leaning against him and pulling on him as needed to keep her balance. She blinked often, trying to keep the world from spinning around her. She would need to unpack her cane when they returned.
"James... The day we met in Crittenden... do you remember? It was the worst day of my life, that I can name. I've had worse, but that day... that day was the one I remember. That morning, my father gave me the news, that I was to meet you and show you around the city. I didn't know why it was me. I hadn't been out of the manor in months. A few times a year I made the effort to go out in the gardens, but apart from that, I stayed inside.
I think it was the stress of going outside that triggered it. Because not ten minutes after he left me to prepare myself, the pain attacked me. I tried to destroy it on my own, with my drinks. You remember the rest of that day. I was a mess. I think... I don't want to blame you for this... I think your problem, and talking to me about it, triggered it today. And the closer we get to the date of the wedding, I think the worse it is going to get. It's no use helping me through it. Your being here, I think... I think makes it worse. Now I'm not just worrying about myself anymore..."
She leaned her head against his shoulder.
"James, I think you should take care of your affairs before then. I think you should leave soon." She closed her eyes, wincing--not because of her pain, but because she really, really did not want to say this next word. "Tomorrow."
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