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Post by jaydjasmyn on Mar 18, 2009 10:14:24 GMT -5
Jayd laughed softly toward Ladorak as she clasped his paw tightly in her own. "You worry to much Lad. And I don't need time to think about this. I've never been more sure of anything in my entire life." A serious expression then waved over her face. She had totally forgotten about her past. He still did not know that she came from a family of 'pirates', per say. She wondered if she should tell him at all but eventually he would likely find out. Right?
They began to walk. Lad suggested that they mingle and Jayd was in mid-sentence when someone approached them instead of the other way around. "I can meet whom ever...." Again she chuckled. Some beasts were rather bold, she thought, but then she instantly noted the marking upon the weasels face. The Fae couldn't help but to have a tingle run up her backbone but then she forced a completely natural looking smile upon her face as Lad then introduced the Vet to her. Of course Jayd shook paws and seemed as polite as possible.
Jayd continued to clutch Lad's paw like there was no tomorrow....
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Post by Ladorak on Mar 18, 2009 12:23:26 GMT -5
Byrony and Monty were of course polite enough, and bid the couple many happy days ahead. They then went off to start badgering King Poynt about something or other. "Jis Bludd is a major advocate for greater social rights and political freedoms, and she normally goes to all of these balls to lobby the King." Ladorak whispered into Jayd's ear.
"Now then....where were we? Oh yes...you were about to say that you'd meet whomever I had in mind then. Heheh, I was figuring on eventually introducing you to Queen Charlotte as she's quite the mother. 13 children after all, and that's quite the record I think in this country. Perhaps you could get some pointers on rearing a kit if you like." Ladorak suggested with a grin and a wink as he steered her over to the food and punch table.
Taking a silver cup for Jayd and then one for himself, he served them both some of the red drink with a silver ladle. "There you are my dear." He stood aside so others could start utilizing the punch bowl. There was of course something he wanted to discuss with Jayd, but when others weren't around and directly talking with them. "So....you mentioned I worry too much. Well yes.....you're probably right. I do, but it's in my nature. So many things have gone wrong that...." He stopped as he noticed Admiral Hood getting closer, though he was stopping to talk to others on the way, most noticeably a small, petite almost in his build, muskrat with a very friendly disposition. That he knew was Admiral John Jervis, another fleet Admiral and a close associate of Hood. Well at least they had some time now.
"Jayd.....I want you to make absolutely certain that this is what you want, alright?" He looked into her eyes with a grave expression. "You know what my job entails. It entails me being away from home for months, maybe even a year or two at a time. I can take you with me, but only when we're not expecting to go into combat. I wouldn't want to risk your life otherwise. I have to put myself in danger from time to time, and there is a chance that well....I could lose my life. That and the fact that there is of course a propensity to be wounded in a combat well...I DON'T want to have to put you through any pain. However...with that said, I love you. I love you more than I can even describe and put into words. I want to be with you....to raise a family with you, and to give Caden a proper upbringing, which I feel confident I can do by taking him out to sea. The life I live will be dangerous, and yet it will also pay me extremely well and allow us to live very comfortably too."
He paused to take a swig of the punch, it's taste being quite good and succulent, if not a little bitter, but a fruity kind of bitter. "Knowing all of that...the fact that I love you, have a dangerous job, and everything that goes with it, well....do you still want to be my wife? I don't want to force you into anything my love, and will do no such thing if you have second thoughts. Our kit should be do.....in November...." he smiled now. "Yes I calculated in my head. I'll hopefully be around for the birth, but can't give you that guarantee, but know that I would attempt to move heaven and earth itself to be there. So I'm going to ask you right now. Straight on...with every bit of sincerity I can muster. Is this the kind of life you want?" he was looking directly at her, his eyes boring into hers. "Can you say with absolute certainty that you want to live with me, to share my lifestyle and to put up with my absences, any injuries I may receive, my malaria, and quite possibly my death? Also there's my love, affection, a desire for a family, and of course my devotion that will be there as well, so if you think the good outweigh the bad, then answer yes. I'm not forcing a decision on you....I want to know if this is the life you want."
He probably WAS worrying too much, but once again that was in his nature. He had to make sure that Jayd would never suffer disappointment from him. He'd be willing to pay for an abortion if she wasn't willing....but somehow he had faith in her. He just wanted to be clear beyond a shadow of a doubt that this was the life she wanted. That he was the ermine of her choosing and that she could put up with his way of life. If she could then.....perhaps this was finally what he'd been looking for all of his life.
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Post by jaydjasmyn on Mar 18, 2009 12:47:01 GMT -5
Ladorak had this uncanny knack of being able to lovingly direct Jayd anyplace that he wished her to go and yes she would follow if need be. They now found themselves near the punch but Jayd took a few sips and then sat it down after he went on and on.. warning her about what kind of life she could look forward too. But when he spoke of his death... Well that was just something that she could not tolerate hearing. She placed a paw over his mouth and then spoke, releasing the pressure from his muzzle after a moment or two. "Ladorak.... Please.... I can deal with anything that your hectic life throws at me but please don't speak of your death." The femme leaned in and pressed her nose into his chest as she gave way to tears. "If there is anything that I wish to not talk about it's that. We will have our ups and downs and yes we will be apart at times but I love you and I can't change that now. I want to marry you. I want to be your wife. I want to be the one that is here to welcome you with open arms when you come back home. I want to have your children. I want this baby because it's ours." Jayd was beside herself with thoughts of his death. It felt like a dagger was being driven into her heart. Ladorak could tell that she was upset about the mention of it. He could likely feel it in the trembling of her body.
Jayd didn't want to alarm anyone that happened to see her tears and so she used one paw to wipe them as they fell. She then looked up at Ladorak and looked deeply into his eyes. He would clearly be able to see that she was very much in love with him, especially so as she smiled and then kissed him on the lips. "Please don't worry. The good will out weigh the bad. I promise. We will be happy but even in the hard times we will still have each other and our family that we will make together." She so much wanted to tell him about her past life. Would now be a good time? Perhaps they should go and talk in a private place. Ladorak just might lose his cool when she tells him.
The femme licked her lips. She gasped as her mouth opened. There was something that she needed to tell him before he married her as well. Jayd placed a soft paw on his chest. "Ladorak... There's something that I need to share with you as well. I think that it's only fair that I tell you before we get married. You might change your mind about marrying me after I tell you this though." Jayd paused for a moment and then looked back up at him. "Do you want to go and talk some place private?" She would tell him right there if he wanted her to but she just didn't think that was such a good idea.
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Post by Ladorak on Mar 18, 2009 13:26:46 GMT -5
A look of consternation crossed Ladorak's face. Wait a minute....news that might make him change his mind about this marriage? What....could Jayd have possibly kept hidden from him all this time? Was she a criminal? A mass murderer? No....not Jayd....not possible. But then what? What could be so dark as to make her thing he'd want to change his mind upon hearing this news?
"Alright...." Ladorak responded hesitantly. It was clear this talk of his death had upset her but...she'd HAVE to learn to accept that. Otherwise....they shouldn't be together. It had seemed to bring up this....dark thing in her past, and now this really piqued the ermine's curiosity. "We'll move to a...."
"Fugate!" came a warm, lower voice. It was a typical Galdean accent, and Ladorak turned a bit to face Admiral Samuel Hood, his superior officer and direct boss. Ladorak stood stiffly, not at attention as he wasn't on duty, but stiffly all the same. Jayd's news had distressed him....and he wanted to hear her out for whatever she had to say. Upon closer inspection, one would notice that instead of a mustelid, Hood was in fact, a opossum. He had a very narrow, hook like snout though, and it gave him the impression of being some sort of bird rather than a marsupial.
"Admiral Hood sir." Ladorak answered him, slowly, almost droning, as if he were hypnotized.
"Well congratulations there Fugate! Didn't get a chance to get over earlier, I'm sorry." he shook Ladorak's paw, causing the stoat to loosen up a little. "And sincere congratulations and best wishes to you Jis." he gave his praise to Jayd as well, giving off a warm smile, something that was very rare for this opossum. "Commander Fugate is one of the best I have, and I'm sure there are many good days for you two ahead." He belted out happily, and Ladorak nodding, trying to excuse himself without sounding rude.
"Oh please sir, you humble me. Oh right!" Ladorak suddenly remembered something. "Sir....you wouldn't happen to know if any openings have become available....would you? Sorry I keep bothering you." he was like a child in need of candy or a toy. Hood sighed.
"No Fugate....I'm afraid not. There's a substantial waiting list you know, and unfortunately you're not the highest on it." Ladorak's eyes seemed to sink a bit, and his chest deflated.
"Ah yes.....of course...."
"Without a war going on well it's tight for everyone. I will try for you though, but do keep in mind it might be some time before you end up with a vessel of your own." Hood reminded the ermine.
"Yes....of course sir. Sorry to have bothered you and.....thank you for the congratulations. I must speak with my fiancée however, forgive me. I'll be happy to catch up to you when I re-enter the room though." Ladorak promised his commanding officer, and Hood nodded understandingly. Good....best be off.
Taking Jayd towards the exit, he greeted the small Admiral Jervis with a friendly nod and smile, to which Jervis did the same for him. OK...now to get someplace private. Turning right, he headed down a darkened corridor and started peeking into rooms, finally settling on a boudoir for guests that was unlit and allowed only moonlight into the room. The room was blue...very blue. Blue cushions for the seats, blue painting on the walls, though it was dim in the natural lighting. Offering her one of the fancy seats, Ladorak took one opposite from her.
Clasping his paws and hanging them down in between his legs, he looked at her pensively. "Alright....let's have it then....what's this big secret that has you so worried?" And myself as well, he thought sardonically. It had him concerned as well. Just what had she been hiding all this time?
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Post by jaydjasmyn on Mar 18, 2009 13:43:11 GMT -5
Jayd nodded and smiled when they were interrupted from leaving the main ball room. She also felt sad for Lad when he was told that there were no openings as of yet and that he was down on the list pretty far. But Jayd still held hope for him. He was a fine Stoat. She was sure that he'd have command of his own ship and soon enough.
Soon though she found herself in a darkened room. Ladorak sat across from her and so she sat down as well, though she really wanted to stand for this since she could hardly sit still. Her stomach ache came back to plague her but she was sure that it was just her nerves.
The femme leaned over and took one of Ladorak's paws and then began to speak. If she didn't just blurt it out soon she would lose her nerve. "Ladorak.... You know that I haven't mentioned much about my past to you. Well there's a reason I haven't." Jayd took a deep breath. Her nerves were getting the better of her. "There's no easy way to say it so I'm just going to say it. My family could be viewed as being pirates. Now I know that you hate pirates.... but...." She stopped and tried to collect her words together.
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Post by Ladorak on Mar 18, 2009 14:01:40 GMT -5
Ladorak's brow creased, furrowing up at the mention of her family being pirates. "Wait...wait, wait." He said, stopping her and pulling his paw out of her grasp. "Hold on.....your family...your MERCHANT family.....are pirates!?" he exclaimed, shock passing over his face.
Sudden thoughts whirled into his head. Wait a minute, hold on. She was from a piratical family? Well...why had she lied about it? Had she been ashamed? She didn't actually participate in any raids though did she? Was she trying to escape that life? Did she despise it? Was that why she was here now?
"Now hold on..." he said, clearly flustered. "But surely you.....weren't raised like that were you? I mean...you didn't agree with what your family was doing did you? You must have left right? You left to escape...that's why you came to me...but then why didn't you just tell me? What.....what's going on here? I need the truth." he said sternly, looking at her with a rougher sort of gaze that he normally reserved for those he didn't care for. Not that he despised her...he didn't have any details, she hadn't said much...but he hoped she would explain now. It would be alright....she must have escaped....she must hate her family...she lied for a reason.....right?
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Post by jaydjasmyn on Mar 18, 2009 14:19:43 GMT -5
Her heart felt like it was being ripped out of her chest when he tore his paw from hers and the way that he looked at her caused tears to began to flow. Jayd thought the worst. Surely now he would re-think his decision to marry her. But why didn't she just tell him the truth? Perhaps because of his statement when they first met about pirates.
The femme got up and knelt in front of him and tried to nestle herself safely between his legs. "You see my father won The Varlet in a 'not so friendly' game of chance. He never really told us how he won it but the way that he made it sound it sounded like a game of cards or something. From that day forward we sailed from place to place, bartering, and when the need presented itself, stealing. We did it to survive." Jayd tried to make him understand that every beast didn't land in a pile of gold, some had to fight their way through life.
Now she was really breaking down. She felt like she wasn't explaining herself to well and that he really wasn't getting the point. "I left because I wanted a normal life. I was happy on the ship and sailing from place to place, meeting new creatures and getting to see new things but I wanted a stable life and so I left." Her eyes kept filling with tears and she tried to cuddle into Ladorak but he wasn't making it very easy on her.
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Post by Ladorak on Mar 18, 2009 14:45:16 GMT -5
Indeed, the ermine backed his chair up a bit, leaning back to make it difficult for her to get in. "So...you enjoyed your way of life." he said flatly, digesting all of this. "I hope you didn't enjoy killing.....provided you ever did.....which actually if I recall you did, but it was in self defense. I'm not going to say that what you did was right...robbing others of their property and livelihood. You have to know this...." He stood up, walking away from her over to a window the palace grounds.
He swished his tail behind him, and off in the distance, Ringing Roger struck 9. 9 PM....already an hour had passed since they had first arrived here. Did she really care for him? Had this all been a lie? No...it couldn't have been fully a lie. After all, she had agreed to marry him. But then why the deception? Was she afraid that he wouldn't love her if he found out?
She had good reason to worry, but he wasn't a dark soul...he would have heard her out...probably been willing to accept her if she had told him straight up from the beginning and provided she was willing to change. "I haven't lied to you about anything....." He clasped his paws behind his back, and looked over his shoulder. "Is there anything else you're keeping from me? I'd prefer to know now, before we go back out there, and I want you to be open with me. Also I need to know if you're willing to forget all that...to change not just for my sake....but for our kit's sake as well." He was fairly sure she was on this last part, but he wanted to hear it out of her mouth herself.
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Post by jaydjasmyn on Mar 18, 2009 14:54:11 GMT -5
Oh how it killed her for him to pull away from her like that! She just couldn't stand the thought of him not wanting to be near her. Her entire body began to tremble even more and when he got up she momentarily fell to the seat in which he just sat, sobbing and still feeling the warmth of his body there.
Eventually though she had to get up and go to him. His existence pulled her like a moth to a burning flame. Jayd wrapped her arms around him. Her voice was shaking as was her lithesome frame. "Ladorak.... Please forgive me. I only didn't tell you because I was afraid that it would push you away. I never killed for the satisfaction of it, it was merely to protect myself. And yes... stealing from others is wrong and I never want to go back to doing that again. I want to work for my money." Her smaller frame moved to the front of him now and her eyes gazed up at him, begging him to look at her.
Moments passed and she began to speak again, still keeping her eyes upon his. "Please don't hate me but I can't hate my family. But I can promise you that I won't go back to that way of life and there's nothing else that I am keeping from you. I promise." Jayd pressed her cheek into his chest, her body longing for him to wrap her up in his warm, comforting and safe embrace.
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Post by Ladorak on Mar 18, 2009 15:15:21 GMT -5
It was clear she was drawn to him for whatever reason, probably out of love. But she would have to gird herself. If she was acting this way already then....how could she possibly expect to tear herself from his side when he had to sail off for war? This wasn't acceptable at all.
He didn't move at first, refusing to take her up in his arms. Weak....she needed to steel herself for this. He wasn't sure what to say to her. What could he possibly do now? She had concealed things from him, and while they weren't as terrible as he at first had thought, it had still been concealed. Why couldn't beasts just be honest with each other? He didn't want to feel like he was being lied to all the time! It was just sick....
But he didn't get that impression with her. She was genuine...she was sincere....she had meant well by it....but had ended up doing wrong. How many times had he been in that position? Too many.....he didn't want to count anymore. Most beasts didn't understand....and never would. He had too much pain in his life for any one beast to take away.....that much was certain. But what else did he have? A chance for a family yes.....and a chance for glory on the high seas, a chance to prove himself worthy of others.
"I know you only meant well by what you were doing." he said, though it was still hard for him to come to terms with it, but he would have to as he didn't have grounds for hating her. "You know......should we give ourselves some time to prepare for this relationship? The kit's due in November, and I'm sure we both want to start a family. When would you like the wedding? I've made known to you what you can expect by marrying me....you seemed fine with it." He still had his arms at his sides, and his voice was low, detached, but he was slowly back into his normal self.
"If you can accept what may happen to me and my job, and I'm willing to accept your past for what it is.....which I am.....then I don't see why we shouldn't go through with this." the disappointment of being left without a command, and then this....well it was weighing on him, but he was struggling to come out of it. "So I guess the final question is, are you absolutely certain of this? I am.....and if you are, then when would you like the wedding to be?" he asked, finally looking down at her instead of out the window. No use in delaying this. He'd come back to her......he would have to. Otherwise...he'd be truly alone the rest of his life....and he didn't want that.
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